I grew up in the 1970s. I was ten years old when the decade began, surviving fifth grade, riding around the neighborhood on my Schwinn Orange Crate bicycle, beginning my love affair with chocolate milk, crushing on Linda Pearson, and discovering Mad Magazine. I was 19 years old when the decade came to a close, a high school graduate in college who had lived through the Vietnam War, Watergate, and the Bicentennial. By the time 1979 unfolded, I was into National Lampoon and Monty Python, no longer a virgin, certainly not a stranger to marijuana, peyote, mushrooms, hashish, and cocaine, flipping around Tucson in my stepmother’s Ford Pinto, and ready to head to California to become a “famous actor and graphic artist.” In-between 1970 and 1979, the deliciously kitsch and eccentrically weird esthetics of the era grooved their way into my subconscious and inner being: shag carpeting, bell-bottoms, peace signs, happy faces, acid rock, paisley designs, black light posters, Pink Floyd and Frank Zappa, etc. This page is devoted to the random ramblings and memories of coming to age in, as Tom Wolfe dubbed it, the “Me Decade.” The Schwinn Pea Picker and Cotton Picker bicycles:
HOW TO TELL IF A HOME WAS BUILT IN THE SEVENTIES Have you ever entered a house, and were immediately struck with the sense that you had traveled back in time? What exactly made that house feel dated? Was it the wallpaper? The furniture? The doilies on the sofa arms and the plastic on the couch seat cushions? The giant console television set with a built-in hi-fi stereo and rabbit ear antennae? The DeGrazia paintings on the wall? The Precious Moments “Love Is” figurines on the bookshelf? The ash tray stand next to the recliner chair?
Perhaps it was the kitchen appliances and bathroom fixtures! The late 1960s, and particularly the early 1970s, was the advent of wildly colored refrigerators, stove-top ranges, toilets and bathtubs, including the infamously dangerous duo of AVOCADO GREEN and HARVEST GOLD! No modern homemaker would be caught dead hosting alongside drab, boring white or beige labor saving devices, when they could be living in the exciting new atmosphere of eye-popping and vivid seas of teal, pink, poppy red, and coppertone!
Yes, hard to imagine, but these horrid and instantly passé hues dominated the kitchens and lavatories of the 1970s. Take a look:
Harvest Gold: Avocado Green: Teal:
Pink:
Coppertone:
Poppy Red:
HOUSEHOLD CHORES IN THE SEVENTIES: RAKING THE LIVING ROOM If you were a child of the seventies, you might remember that one of your chores was having to rake the shag carpeting. Yes. Rake the carpeting. Mom demanded that her plush all-white rug have neat, parallel lines going through-out the room, and god forbid you accidentally left a footprint while completing the task!
Shag carpeting was all the rage in the fab and groovy decade. Luxuriant and lush, the high pile came in mod and vibrant colors, and was notorious for hiding small items that would become lost until the next raking, like legos, coins, earrings, seeds and stems from when you were cleaning your weed while Mom was at work, etc. I enjoyed a rich and beautiful shade of purple in my bedroom, and am all the better person for having gone through the experience. Take a look:
OTHER SHITTY THINGS YOU’D FIND IN PEOPLE’S HOMES Shitty things on the walls: owl macrames, god’s eyes, bicentennial commemorative crap, phones, black light posters made with felt.
Shitty magazines on the coffee table.
Trendy shit: conversation pits, lava lamps, indoor planters.
Stupid decorative shit: glass fruit, wine bottle candles, tissue box holders.
Shitty things to sit on. Is that her knee, or is she just happy to be sitting on a bean bag?
Shitty “adult” party games and books, half-heartedly hidden so children and their babysitters had no problem finding them.
IF IT’S THE SEVENTIES, YOUR PHOTOS WILL BE EMBARRASSING Denim jackets. Bell bottoms. Wide lapel polyester shirts. Peasant dresses. Mood rings. Platform shoes. Calculator watches. Tie-dyed clothing. Jeans bleached in the bath tub. Puka shell chokers. Granny skirts. POW/MIA bracelets. Turtle necks. If you went to junior and high school in the 1970s, like I did, you might have worn some or all of these. You may have shopped at the Sears Put On Shop, like I did. Well, not by choice – my mother took me there, and bought me the latest hip and with-it styles that were all the rage with the kids.
Fortunately, she steered me away from fads like Earth Shoes, but I did own a pair of white bell-bottomed slacks. Stepped on a ketchup packet once during lunch break, and shot red sauce up my leg and right to my crotch. I went back to classes looking like I had gotten my man-period.
Somehow, unfortunately, I managed to be documented in the following frightfully outlandish fashions of the time: a corduroy leisure suit (with matching vest), a denim jacket, polyester shirts with wide lapels, and a turquoise choker. Yipes.
MUNCHIES AND OTHER FOODS FROM THE SEVENTIES The 1970s offered a plethora of blink-and-you-might-miss-it food items, but also introduced some products that have endured through the years. For example: Orville Redenbacher’s Gourmet Popping Corn (1970), Hamburger Helper (1971), Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing (1973), the Egg McMuffin (1973), Yoplait Yogurt (1974), fajitas (1975), and Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream (1978), just to name a few. Scrumpdillyishus!!! But for every food trend that came and stayed, we are thankfully blessed for some that went away (I am talking to you, fondue pots with matching forks, and casseroles with crushed potato chips on top).
And never underestimate the sensational advantages of perforated miniature cereal boxes that let you eat your cereal RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX!
FunFoodFact: The first item to include a UPC bar code and be scanned at a grocery store was a multi-pack of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum, on June 26, 1974! Here are a few food items that might make you feel a little nostalgic if you came to age in the 1970s:
Manwich – Introduced in 1969, Hunt’s Manwich became a household staple in the 1970s, creating a fast and simple meal option: sloppy joes on hamburger buns! And if you were one of the lucky kids, Mom would serve them with either bacon or onion flavored tater tots (products that Ore-Ida should definitely bring back)!
Hamburger Helper’s evil twin Tuna Helper and Lipton’s Hamburger Extender – During the 1972 meat shortage, when beef prices sky-rocketed and households were forced to turn to cheaper cuts of protein such as chicken and tuna, Betty Crocker added to their Hamburger Helper line-up, Tuna Helper (1972), and Lipton created Make-A-Better-Burger (1976), a soy-based product designed to turn one pound of expensive ground beef into two pounds of yucky-tasting meat compound. Dinners from hell!
Oh Boy! Frozen Pizza (1972) – Probably the worst frozen pizza ever, this product came with two cardboard platters splashed with tomato sauce and a smidgen of grated cheese in each carton, and went for around 99 cents. My recently divorced dad supplied us with these each Friday night to cook as dinner for ourselves while he stayed out late for “a meeting.” To make them somewhat edible, we piled on whatever leftovers we could find in the fridge – pork and beans, hot dogs, spaghetti, etc. – and served them up alongside – you guessed it – Ore Ida bacon or onion tater tots. And a gallon of ketchup. It’s enough to make a kid shout “Oh, boy! I have diarrhea!” (I was unable to find any photos of Oh Boy! pizzas, but did manage to scrounge up an old newspaper coupon from 1976.)
Shake-a-Pudd’n and Shake-a-Pudding – In 1967, Royal introduced Shake-a-Pudd’n, a make your own dessert kit that came with 4 cups, 4 spoons, and 4 instant pudding packets. If you followed the TV commercials, the best approach to quickly get your treat ready was to rock out to the Beach Boys while shakin’ your puddin’! Yeah! Groovy! Although discontinued in 1971, Jell-O brought it back in 1973 with the more grammatically correct Shake-a-Pudding, along with a special shaker cup and recipe booklet! Heavy, man!
Jell-O 1-2-3 and Jell-O Pudding Pops – Jell-O continued to hit it out of the ballpark with these two delectable oddities: Jell-O 1-2-3 was a parfait powder that you mixed and stuck in the refrigerator and allowed to separate into three distinct layers – a creamy top, a mousse-like middle, and a regular gelatin bottom. It was pretty delicious, but consumer interest dwindled and the item was discontinued in 1996. Jell-O Pudding Pops was launched through a highly successful advertising campaign with spokesperson Bill Cosby, and the product stuck around until the mid-90s. They were reintroduced in 2004 under the brand name Popsicle, but due to the texture and shape being different from what fans recalled, they did not prove to be popular, and were withdrawn in 2004. Both 1-2-3 and Pudding Pops are fondly remembered, and Pudding Pops, especially, are often cited on wish lists of products that folks want to see returned to their grocer’s freezer. Honorable Mention: There’s always room for Jell-o.
Screaming Yellow Zonkers! – Introduced in 1968, this bright yellow popcorn snack lasted until 2007, and was synonymous with bold, inventive packaging design. It literally screams that it is a product of the 1970s, and looks as if it was invented by Peter Max for the Beatles’ “Yellow Submarine” movie. Its sugar glaze, however, was overly sweet and cloying.
Gum – It wasn’t until the late 1960s that chewing gum and bubble gum got a tad more adventurous. Prior to then, stick gum, such as Wrigley’s and Beechnut, stayed relatively the same, and bubble gum, such as Bazooka Joe, remained in its little square or round chunks, except for the thin slabs found in trading card packs. Then, along came Chiclets, the small brightly colored candy-coated tablets (and their poorer cousins, the barely flavored Ford penny machine knock-offs), Dentyne and the sugar-free Trident individually wrapped tabs, and Fruit Stripe, the gum with different color stripes that corresponded with the fruit flavor of each stick. As we rolled into the seventies, bubble gum was available in all sorts of forms: burlap bags of gold “nuggets,” pouches of gum shaped like chewing tobacco, 2-foot long ropes, cigar and cigarette shaped gum, and of course, Hubba Bubba (introduced in 1979), the non-stick bubble gum. In 1975, Freshen Up hit the market. Commonly referred to as “cum gum,” because it’s flavored gel filling squirted out of the center when you chomped down on a fresh piece, Freshen Up was designed to help with bad breath, and many teenage boys hoping to make an impression on teenage girls turned to it. (Adults relied on Clorets, a Chiclet-style tab that was green in color because it contained chlorophyll, a natural breath-freshening agent found in … parsley. FunFoodFact: Because of the cellophane wrapper and the window in the box, both Chiclets and Clorets could be used as a kazoo when you blew through one end of the empty container!). I myself, preferred the immediate minty explosion of Tic Tacs (1969) or Dynamints (1970), even though everyone could hear me coming a mile away due to the sound of the mints rattling in my pocket. In the 1970s, it was encouraged to touch and sniff a teen!
Shasta Sodas – Parents and other adults drank the costlier soft drinks that came in a single flavor, like Coke, Pepsi, and 7-Up, but in the 1970s, Mom and Dad bought for us kids the cheaper Shasta soda pops, which was okay, because they came in a rainbow of assorted fruit flavors, including the dreadful chocolate cola. Birthday parties and camping trips were way more exciting when there was an ice chest filled with cans of Shasta to dig into. And that was back when you still had to open the can with removable pull-top tabs, which made handy-dandy necklaces, bracelets, and weapons! It hasta be Shasta! Honorable Mention: Canada Dry also offered up flavored sodas, many of which were very delicious. The 70s was also the era of fat bottles enveloped in styrofoam labels, to help prevent breakage.
Hi-C – First introduced in 1947 in only one flavor (orange – grape came along later), the popular fruit flavored drink continued to be made available in its distinctive 46 ounce steel can well into the 1980s. Fans loved the can, which had to be punctured with holes on the lid by a can opener in order to pour the contents, for several reasons, not the least of which was the fact that the can chilled the juice considerably. Other reasons included the nostalgia factor, as the can hearkens back to our childhoods, and the labels, which for many years could be removed so that puzzles and games printed on the back of the label could be enjoyed. For me, the best flavor was Citrus Cooler, a neon green colored liquid that tasted like tangerine. I still recall getting served the juice with my graham crackers before rest time on our floor mats in pre-school. The teacher referred to it as “spider cider.” And so did I, for the next forty years. In 1987, the Minute Maid division of Coca-Cola, who had acquired the brand, changed the name from Citrus Cooler to “Ecto Cooler” as a merchandising tie-in with the film “Ghostbusters,” but make no mistake – it was still the spider cider I knew and loved. As the years went by, the steel cans disappeared, to be replaced by cardboard juice boxes with straws, and Minute Maid remove the artificial colors from their juice line. The beverage went through a name change (Shoutin’ Orange Tangerine), and was brought back temporarily in 2021 to promote “Ghostbusters: Afterlife.” Citrus Cooler, in particular, is beloved by fans who clamor on the internet for its return, and offer homemade recipes.
Pillsbury Space Food Sticks – These “nutritionally balanced between-meal” snacks were introduced in 1970, but never actually made it into space until 1972, when astronauts on Skylab 3 ate them in order to test their gastronomical fortitude. That did not prevent kids enamored with the Apollo missions and the space race from demanding that Mom buy them. Each box contained 14 individually wrapped sticks that came in six different flavors, but in actuality, they tasted like Play-Doh.
Snack Mate Pasteurized Process Cheese Spread – Only in America would someone come up with the brilliant idea to put cheese in a spray can. Nabisco first created the product in 1965, and by the 1970s, consumers could use the air-filled canisters to squirt processed cheese just about anywhere they wanted, and in flavors such as Cheddar, American, Pimiento, Cheddar-Blu, Pizza, and French Onion. For stoned teenagers, this stuff was great – it tasted fake, but when piled high on a Ritz cracker or on your favorite body part of your girl friend, it was heavenly delicious! And it was so cheezy to use!
Libbyland Frozen Meals – Frozen TV dinners especially for kids. Ingenious! Each of the four varieties included a box with games and puzzles that had a cut-out scene which could be popped-up to look at while you ate. And what a meal, too! Nasty little hot dogs, fish sticks, chicken patties, and tater tots, with grape flavored apple sauce or hot pudding for dessert. And it came with powder to make a glass of chocolate milk to help swallow the swill down. C’mon, everybody sing along! “If it says Libby’s, Libby’s, Libby’s on the label, label, label, you will like it, like it, like it on your table, table, table!” In the 1970s, food for kids in the United States were tested for safety on Canadian children.
Pop Rocks and Zotz – You know what would be a great ingredient for a candy? How about the same stuff that you can brush your teeth with, use to absorb foul orders in your fridge, make one of those little plastic submarines they gave away in boxes of breakfast cereal go up and down in the bath water, or cause your science project papier-mâché volcano to erupt? That’s right! Sodium bicarbonate, commonly known as baking soda! Well, that was what was inside a Zotz hard candy, first sold in 1970. You sucked on it until saliva and air reached the center, which was filled with baking soda, and then the candy exploded in your mouth, bathing it with a sizzling foam that made you look like you had gone mad with rabies. But only a penny or two for the excitement and fun!
Pop Rocks, a candy that crackled and fizzed when you poured a bunch from the pouch into your mouth, on the other hand, used pressurized carbon dioxide gas bubbles embedded in the candy to do the dirty work. Pop Rocks came out in 1975, and found fame after Johnny Carson tried some on “The Tonight Show,” and giggled when the candy began popping in his mouth as it disolved. By 1979, General Mills found itself battling rumors that drinking soda and digesting Pop Rocks would cause a person’s stomach to boil and explode, an urban legend that included child actor John Gilchrist who played Mikey on the Life cereal commercials in the 1970s. “Hey, Mikey! I hate your guts … being all over the table!”
Funny Face Drink Mix – In 1969, the FDA ruled that since cyclamate, a sweetener in both Kool-Aid and Funny Face drink mixes, could develop bladder tumors in rats if they ingested the human equivalent of 350 cans of soda pop a day, the additive had to be removed from all products for human consumption. When it was banned, Bugs Bunny disappeared as the spokesman for Kool-Aid, but Funny Face marched on with its stable of goofy and humorous mascots used to promote its large assortment of fruity flavors. Beloved today by boomers who enjoyed drinking pitchers of this cheap soft drink first introduced by Pillsbury in 1964, Funny Face stuck around until 2001, giving Kool-Aid some fairly strong competition. The original flavors, and their names, were Goofy Grape, Rootin’-Tootin’ Raspberry, Freckle Face Strawberry, Loud-Mouth Lime, Injun Orange, and Chinese Cherry. These last two, being ethnic stereotypes considered offensive at the time (right down to the slang term “Injun” and the slanted eyes, buck teeth, and single strand of hair with a bow), were soon changed to Jolly Olly Orange and Choo Choo Cherry, respectively. Additional flavors were added later, including Lefty Lemon (later called Lefty Lemon-Lime and Lefty Lemonade), Captain Black Cherry, Chilly Cherry Cola, Loud-Mouth Punch, Pistol Pink Lemonade, Rah! Rah! Root Beer, Rudy Tutti-Frutti, Tart Lil’ Imitation Lemonade, Tart ‘N’ Tangy Lemon, Tart n’ Tangy Orange, With-It Watermelon, and Chug-A-Lug-a Chocolate. Unlike Kool-Aid, Funny Face flooded the market in the 1970s with lots of premiums and collectables, most of which are highly coveted and sought after today. Customers no did wantum “Injun Orange,” nor did they rike “Chinese Cherry” velly much, either.
Frito’s Offensive Spokesperson – I was never a fan of corn chips, but I am a fan of the ignorant racism that abounded throughout the politically incorrect seventies, and here was a great example: the Frito Bandito. “Aye yi yi yi! I am the Frito Bandito! I love crunchy Fritos, I love them I do, I take crunchy Fritos, I take them from you!” he would snarlingly sing in his best Bill Dana/Speedy Gonzalez inflection. After mild consumer outrage, he was replaced by W.C. Fritos, a character based on an alcoholic, child-hating, chauvinistic actor from the ’30s, because, hey, that’s at least somewhat better than an insulting Mexican stereotype, right? The collectable erasers were cool, though. I fortunately still have mine.
Borden Dutch Chocolate Milk / Frosted Shake – This one is personal. My love affair with chocolate milk may have started with Hershey’s syrup or Nestle’s powder and a gallon of milk, as we kids made our own glasses of God’s nectar growing up, but by the time I had discovered drugs and had spending money, Borden’s Dutch Chocolate Milk was the favorite go-to. Daily. I would literally pull over dairy trucks or stop by the Borden warehouse in downtown Tucson on my way to early morning college classes, and buy cartons directly. This concoction had no competition – it was quite simply the best chocolate milk I have ever tasted, and I have tried dozens of brands throughout the years, even after I became lactose intolerant and was forced to drink lactose-free brands. Other brands added unnecessary ingredients and oils that gave the flavor something that felt just a little off, such as a coconut aftertaste or the absence of, well, chocolate. But Borden’s used Dutch chocolate, and I guess that made all the difference. Although the brand is still sold on the East coast, sadly it is no longer available on the West coast, and like so many other groovy things from my childhood, it is now just a distance memory.
The same is true with Borden’s Frosted Shake, a ready to drink milkshake in a can. Much more expensive than a quart of chocolate milk, and only large enough for a couple of swigs before it was gone, this fairly decent product was a nice change of pace. Available in Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, Chocolate Fudge and Coffee, I could never figure out how they made the texture so thick and rich, just like a creamy milkshake. Then one day I looked at the ingredients and saw that it was made almost entirely of vegetable oil. I suddenly felt queasy.
Birdseye Ice Flo Slush Mix – This has been the Holy Grail of my childhood, as there is pretty much nothing out there on the worldwide web documenting the history of this amazing product, a slush drink mix that came in five flavors, each in a brightly colored square Cool Whip-type container, suitable for storage and playtime when emptied. I have reached out to the Birdseye and General Foods marketing and product divisions in each of the last three decades asking about Ice Flo to no avail – they simply do not remember it. It took me scouring through newspaper archives and microfiche to uncover proof that it did actually exist – see the advertisements below. (I actually sent away for the plastic cups adorned by the fairly nondescript mascots, where they remained in our camping trailer for years. The cups, not the mascots.) I cannot believe that at some point in the last 45 years some company somewhere has not thought to bring this clever drink mix product back to the grocer’s freezer. It was absolutely delicious! And it even came in chocolate, which you mixed with milk instead of water. And, boy, do I miss those fabulous, far out purple, red, yellow, orange, and brown tubs with matching lids. What I wouldn’t give for the ability to make my own slush right now!!
Frosty Sno-Man Sno-Cones – First manufactured in 1967, Hasbro’s Frosty Sno-Man Sno-Cone Machine enabled children to make their own snow cones by inserting ice cubes in Frosty’s head, using his hat to shove them through the grinder that rotated in Frosty’s stomach when you turned the crank located on his back. The shaved ice came out of his stomach, like disemboweled crystal intestines, with the help of Frosty’s trusty shovel. The toy came with packets of snow cone syrup, in orange, grape, pineapple, blueberry, and pink lemonade, and bottles to dispense the syrups. In the 1970s, kits came with a paper apron, paper sign, and plastic hat to encourage kids to go out into the world and open their own business. And that is what we did! We set up a stand, and used Welch’s Grape Juice as syrup when we ran out of the packets. The drawback was how long it took to fill a paper cup with shaved ice – you found yourself still loading ice cubes and grinding away while the ice you already had was melting. Either way, a snow cone on a hot day couldn’t be topped! 1960’s Frosty. 1970s Frosty.
Snack Crackers – Really not much to say here, except that back in the day of artificial ingredients, lack of weight conscious awareness, and the love of all things bacon and cheese flavored, there was certainly a wider assortment of snack crackers available than there is now.
GO GO GADGETS AND DEADLY PLAYGROUNDS! Hanging out on the schoolyard during lunch and recess in the early 1970s meant checking out new gadgets and cool stuff that other kids were privileged to obtain, but I was not, such as 8×10 color glossies of the famous Earthrise photo taken by the Apollo 8 space crew, which somehow a kid in my fifth grade class had a bunch of and sold them for a dollar each (I did end up buying one).
There were other gadgets and cool stuff that we DID get to own and show off, such as “Clackers,” one of the most dangerous toys ever sold to children. Clackers were two clear plastic balls suspended at each end of a string. When the string was held in the middle and the balls swung so that they hit each other in the air above your hand and again below your hand, the “clacking” balls would eventually explode, sending shards of sharp colorful plastic into the eyes, heads, and bodies of every student standing nearby watching. Fun!
But we did not need to rely on dangerous toys being brought to school to cause injuries that would result in a trip to the nurse’s office and a ride home in bandages. Not when the nearby playground equipment was just as deadly. The majority of structures to climb and play on were made of steel, which is a drawback when the Arizona temperatures reach well over 100 degrees, and the steel becomes scalding hot, delivering third degree burns en masse, but an asset when it comes to hosing off blood and melted skin to ready the playground for the next day’s recess. There were merry-go-rounds, teeter totters, monkey bars, and jungle gyms, all firmly set in soft, cushiony cement, and designed to allow children with low agility and immature balancing skills to climb high, swing far, hang upside down from great heights, and ultimately slip, fall, and collide with the ground and other children. It was our first introduction to scabs, bruises, teeth that did not fall out naturally, slings, and casts, and these unsound, unsafe playground apparatuses helped weed the herd of the weak and feeble, not like the wimpy, plastic structures of today, with their pussy-ass stairs, guardrails, and wood chips. And I didn’t even mention the tetherball court, an amazing oddity that enabled you to slam a ball, attached to a rope or chain and tied to the top of a pole, right into the face of the girl you had a crush on, or wrap it indefinitely around the wrist of the kid you hated, cutting off the blood supply to his hand. Those were the days.
Some of us found our way to the local POW / MIA office, and purchased bracelets with the names of Vietnam soldiers who were prisoners of war or who were missing in action. We were too young at the time to really comprehend and appreciate the significance of these trinkets, but we wore them nonetheless as a sort of fifth grade status symbol.
Stickers and decals were a big deal with grade-schoolers in the 1970s. You could get them free from almost anywhere: gas stations and repair shops handed out STP and Wynne’s racing stickers, liquor stores gave us Budweiser “Budman” decals. Donruss’ “Odd Rods” bubble gum stickers were a short-lived fad. Much more popular, and still around today, were the “Wacky Packages” product spoof cards from Topps. Lockers, notebooks, and bedroom closets were covered with these stickers, many of which were paper and a mother’s nightmare when it came to trying to remove them.
Funny magazines and comic books were popular things to share, especially as our sense of humor began to become more sophisticated, and satire and adult content and parodies more appreciated. We graduated from comic books to Mad magazine (and its copy cats), and then to National Lampoon (and its full frontal nudity and F-words), and were on our way to grown up laughter, jocularity, and general all-around merriment. We were the generation that motioned in the era that led to “All in the Family,” “Second City Television,” “Saturday Night Live,” and “Animal House.”
Electronic gadgets were increasingly popular in the 1970s, and as kids, we were immediately attracted to them, including the wave of Texas Instruments digital products that took the world by storm, with their deep red numbers and letters lit up and blinking across the faces of hand-held calculators and wrist watches. Every child had to have one or both. So did Dad.
The space race was in full steam in the 1960s, culminating on the first man on the moon in 1969, but although space flight was dwindling down in the seventies (the last moon mission, Apollo 17, occurred in December, 1972), kids still fancied space related toys, such as Major Matt Mason, who had a LOT of cool gadgets. Those of us lucky enough to buy and collect Major Matt Masons enjoyed a variety of neat accessories, such as moonwalkers, lunar vehicles, jetpacks, alien friends, and a complete and radical space station set. About the same time as all the wires inside Matt broke, reducing his limbs to rubbery, floppy appendages, we grew tired of him, and moved on to other action toys, like G.I. Joe and Hot Wheels, and eventually preoccupation with girls, acne, and night boners.
New gadgets were not just being discovered on the playground among our peers. They were showing up at home, too. Before Ma Bell was broken up in 1982, Bell Telephone owned our phones. But that did not stop them from introducing new and exciting models. We still had party lines and operators, and you could still make prank calls, like having your own phone called by the operator to fool your parents, and you could still charge long distance phone calls to the phone number belonging to the parents of some kid at school who you disliked, but now the phones were slick and cool looking, with push buttons and light-up dials and available in many wildly alluring colors. Although novelty phones would not become a thing until the 1980s, the 1970s did introduce some, such as Snoopy and Mickey Mouse telephones.
Record players and hi-fi phonographs reached a renaissance, as audiophiles began to invest a lot of money into state-of-the-art turntables and music systems. Many of these were sturdy, high-end components that have stood the test of time and are still being sought after and used fifty years later. I myself am using the receiver I purchased in 1975, a Harman/Kardon 430 Twin Powered stereo receiver that works and sounds brilliant.
But it was the 1970s, after all, and spilling over from the decadent and psychedelic sixties were some pretty far out and extremely hip sound equipment, including groovy dome-covered turntables and the amazing Audio Egg.
And although video game consoles would begin to trickle into arcades and our homes toward the end of the decade, the trend all started with a simple, quaint little game called “Pong.” I first saw “Pong” on a display TV set in the Diamonds department store, and my friends and I would wander into Diamonds after school, and play the game until the sales staff would come along and shoe us away. Eventually, we convinced our parents to buy a “Pong” console, and soon every living room had a TV set in which the game had burned itself into the picture tube, forcing us to view a ghostly game of tennis or ping pong behind any television show we tried to watch.
The 1970s also brought technology into retail, especially in our grocery stores. As I mentioned previously, scanners were introduced in 1974, and UPC bar codes began appearing on everything. I love the following photo, because I worked at an Alpha Beta grocery store in the early 1980s and checked out groceries on a checkstand exactly like this one. Look! No plastic bags! And is that lady writing a check? For cash back, too? You betcha!
Come back soon for more reflections on the greatest era to ever be sandwiched between the decades 1960 and 1980.
1970s!
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I grew up in the 1970s. I was ten years old when the decade began, surviving fifth grade, riding around the neighborhood on my Schwinn Orange Crate bicycle, beginning my love affair with chocolate milk, crushing on Linda Pearson, and discovering Mad Magazine. I was 19 years old when the decade came to a close, a high school graduate in college who had lived through the Vietnam War, Watergate, and the Bicentennial. By the time 1979 unfolded, I was into National Lampoon and Monty Python, no longer a virgin, certainly not a stranger to marijuana, peyote, mushrooms, hashish, and cocaine, flipping around Tucson in my stepmother’s Ford Pinto, and ready to head to California to become a “famous actor and graphic artist.” In-between 1970 and 1979, the deliciously kitsch and eccentrically weird esthetics of the era grooved their way into my subconscious and inner being: shag carpeting, bell-bottoms, peace signs, happy faces, acid rock, paisley designs, black light posters, Pink Floyd and Frank Zappa, etc. This page is devoted to the random ramblings and memories of coming to age in, as Tom Wolfe dubbed it, the “Me Decade.”
The Schwinn Pea Picker and Cotton Picker bicycles:
Contents:
HOW TO TELL IF A HOME WAS BUILT IN THE SEVENTIES
HOUSEHOLD CHORES IN THE SEVENTIES: RAKING THE LIVING ROOM
OTHER SHITTY THINGS YOU’D FIND IN PEOPLE’S HOMES
IF IT’S THE SEVENTIES, YOUR PHOTOS WILL BE EMBARRASSING
MUNCHIES AND OTHER FOODS FROM THE SEVENTIES
GO GO GADGETS AND DEADLY PLAYGROUNDS!
HOW TO TELL IF A HOME WAS BUILT IN THE SEVENTIES
Have you ever entered a house, and were immediately struck with the sense that you had traveled back in time? What exactly made that house feel dated? Was it the wallpaper? The furniture? The doilies on the sofa arms and the plastic on the couch seat cushions? The giant console television set with a built-in hi-fi stereo and rabbit ear antennae? The DeGrazia paintings on the wall? The Precious Moments “Love Is” figurines on the bookshelf? The ash tray stand next to the recliner chair?
Perhaps it was the kitchen appliances and bathroom fixtures! The late 1960s, and particularly the early 1970s, was the advent of wildly colored refrigerators, stove-top ranges, toilets and bathtubs, including the infamously dangerous duo of AVOCADO GREEN and HARVEST GOLD! No modern homemaker would be caught dead hosting alongside drab, boring white or beige labor saving devices, when they could be living in the exciting new atmosphere of eye-popping and vivid seas of teal, pink, poppy red, and coppertone!
Yes, hard to imagine, but these horrid and instantly passé hues dominated the kitchens and lavatories of the 1970s. Take a look:
Harvest Gold:
Avocado Green:
Teal:
Pink:
Coppertone:
Poppy Red:
HOUSEHOLD CHORES IN THE SEVENTIES: RAKING THE LIVING ROOM
If you were a child of the seventies, you might remember that one of your chores was having to rake the shag carpeting. Yes. Rake the carpeting. Mom demanded that her plush all-white rug have neat, parallel lines going through-out the room, and god forbid you accidentally left a footprint while completing the task!
Shag carpeting was all the rage in the fab and groovy decade. Luxuriant and lush, the high pile came in mod and vibrant colors, and was notorious for hiding small items that would become lost until the next raking, like legos, coins, earrings, seeds and stems from when you were cleaning your weed while Mom was at work, etc. I enjoyed a rich and beautiful shade of purple in my bedroom, and am all the better person for having gone through the experience. Take a look:
OTHER SHITTY THINGS YOU’D FIND IN PEOPLE’S HOMES
Shitty things on the walls: owl macrames, god’s eyes, bicentennial commemorative crap, phones, black light posters made with felt.
Shitty magazines on the coffee table.
Trendy shit: conversation pits, lava lamps, indoor planters.
Stupid decorative shit: glass fruit, wine bottle candles, tissue box holders.
Shitty things to sit on.
Shitty “adult” party games and books, half-heartedly hidden so children and their babysitters had no problem finding them.
IF IT’S THE SEVENTIES, YOUR PHOTOS WILL BE EMBARRASSING
Denim jackets. Bell bottoms. Wide lapel polyester shirts. Peasant dresses. Mood rings. Platform shoes. Calculator watches. Tie-dyed clothing. Jeans bleached in the bath tub. Puka shell chokers. Granny skirts. POW/MIA bracelets. Turtle necks. If you went to junior and high school in the 1970s, like I did, you might have worn some or all of these. You may have shopped at the Sears Put On Shop, like I did. Well, not by choice – my mother took me there, and bought me the latest hip and with-it styles that were all the rage with the kids.
Fortunately, she steered me away from fads like Earth Shoes, but I did own a pair of white bell-bottomed slacks. Stepped on a ketchup packet once during lunch break, and shot red sauce up my leg and right to my crotch. I went back to classes looking like I had gotten my man-period.
Somehow, unfortunately, I managed to be documented in the following frightfully outlandish fashions of the time: a corduroy leisure suit (with matching vest), a denim jacket, polyester shirts with wide lapels, and a turquoise choker. Yipes.
MUNCHIES AND OTHER FOODS FROM THE SEVENTIES
The 1970s offered a plethora of blink-and-you-might-miss-it food items, but also introduced some products that have endured through the years. For example: Orville Redenbacher’s Gourmet Popping Corn (1970), Hamburger Helper (1971), Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing (1973), the Egg McMuffin (1973), Yoplait Yogurt (1974), fajitas (1975), and Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream (1978), just to name a few. Scrumpdillyishus!!! But for every food trend that came and stayed, we are thankfully blessed for some that went away (I am talking to you, fondue pots with matching forks, and casseroles with crushed potato chips on top).
And never underestimate the sensational advantages of perforated miniature cereal boxes that let you eat your cereal RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX!
Fun Food Fact: The first item to include a UPC bar code and be scanned at a grocery store was a multi-pack of Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum, on June 26, 1974!
Here are a few food items that might make you feel a little nostalgic if you came to age in the 1970s:
Manwich – Introduced in 1969, Hunt’s Manwich became a household staple in the 1970s, creating a fast and simple meal option: sloppy joes on hamburger buns! And if you were one of the lucky kids, Mom would serve them with either bacon or onion flavored tater tots (products that Ore-Ida should definitely bring back)!
Hamburger Helper’s evil twin Tuna Helper and Lipton’s Hamburger Extender – During the 1972 meat shortage, when beef prices sky-rocketed and households were forced to turn to cheaper cuts of protein such as chicken and tuna, Betty Crocker added to their Hamburger Helper line-up, Tuna Helper (1972), and Lipton created Make-A-Better-Burger (1976), a soy-based product designed to turn one pound of expensive ground beef into two pounds of yucky-tasting meat compound. Dinners from hell!
Oh Boy! Frozen Pizza (1972) – Probably the worst frozen pizza ever, this product came with two cardboard platters splashed with tomato sauce and a smidgen of grated cheese in each carton, and went for around 99 cents. My recently divorced dad supplied us with these each Friday night to cook as dinner for ourselves while he stayed out late for “a meeting.” To make them somewhat edible, we piled on whatever leftovers we could find in the fridge – pork and beans, hot dogs, spaghetti, etc. – and served them up alongside – you guessed it – Ore Ida bacon or onion tater tots. And a gallon of ketchup. It’s enough to make a kid shout “Oh, boy! I have diarrhea!” (I was unable to find any photos of Oh Boy! pizzas, but did manage to scrounge up an old newspaper coupon from 1976.)
Shake-a-Pudd’n and Shake-a-Pudding – In 1967, Royal introduced Shake-a-Pudd’n, a make your own dessert kit that came with 4 cups, 4 spoons, and 4 instant pudding packets. If you followed the TV commercials, the best approach to quickly get your treat ready was to rock out to the Beach Boys while shakin’ your puddin’! Yeah! Groovy! Although discontinued in 1971, Jell-O brought it back in 1973 with the more grammatically correct Shake-a-Pudding, along with a special shaker cup and recipe booklet! Heavy, man!
Jell-O 1-2-3 and Jell-O Pudding Pops – Jell-O continued to hit it out of the ballpark with these two delectable oddities: Jell-O 1-2-3 was a parfait powder that you mixed and stuck in the refrigerator and allowed to separate into three distinct layers – a creamy top, a mousse-like middle, and a regular gelatin bottom. It was pretty delicious, but consumer interest dwindled and the item was discontinued in 1996. Jell-O Pudding Pops was launched through a highly successful advertising campaign with spokesperson Bill Cosby, and the product stuck around until the mid-90s. They were reintroduced in 2004 under the brand name Popsicle, but due to the texture and shape being different from what fans recalled, they did not prove to be popular, and were withdrawn in 2004. Both 1-2-3 and Pudding Pops are fondly remembered, and Pudding Pops, especially, are often cited on wish lists of products that folks want to see returned to their grocer’s freezer.
Honorable Mention: There’s always room for Jell-o.
Screaming Yellow Zonkers! – Introduced in 1968, this bright yellow popcorn snack lasted until 2007, and was synonymous with bold, inventive packaging design. It literally screams that it is a product of the 1970s, and looks as if it was invented by Peter Max for the Beatles’ “Yellow Submarine” movie. Its sugar glaze, however, was overly sweet and cloying.
Gum – It wasn’t until the late 1960s that chewing gum and bubble gum got a tad more adventurous. Prior to then, stick gum, such as Wrigley’s and Beechnut, stayed relatively the same, and bubble gum, such as Bazooka Joe, remained in its little square or round chunks, except for the thin slabs found in trading card packs. Then, along came Chiclets, the small brightly colored candy-coated tablets (and their poorer cousins, the barely flavored Ford penny machine knock-offs), Dentyne and the sugar-free Trident individually wrapped tabs, and Fruit Stripe, the gum with different color stripes that corresponded with the fruit flavor of each stick. As we rolled into the seventies, bubble gum was available in all sorts of forms: burlap bags of gold “nuggets,” pouches of gum shaped like chewing tobacco, 2-foot long ropes, cigar and cigarette shaped gum, and of course, Hubba Bubba (introduced in 1979), the non-stick bubble gum. In 1975, Freshen Up hit the market. Commonly referred to as “cum gum,” because it’s flavored gel filling squirted out of the center when you chomped down on a fresh piece, Freshen Up was designed to help with bad breath, and many teenage boys hoping to make an impression on teenage girls turned to it. (Adults relied on Clorets, a Chiclet-style tab that was green in color because it contained chlorophyll, a natural breath-freshening agent found in … parsley. Fun Food Fact: Because of the cellophane wrapper and the window in the box, both Chiclets and Clorets could be used as a kazoo when you blew through one end of the empty container!). I myself, preferred the immediate minty explosion of Tic Tacs (1969) or Dynamints (1970), even though everyone could hear me coming a mile away due to the sound of the mints rattling in my pocket.
Shasta Sodas – Parents and other adults drank the costlier soft drinks that came in a single flavor, like Coke, Pepsi, and 7-Up, but in the 1970s, Mom and Dad bought for us kids the cheaper Shasta soda pops, which was okay, because they came in a rainbow of assorted fruit flavors, including the dreadful chocolate cola. Birthday parties and camping trips were way more exciting when there was an ice chest filled with cans of Shasta to dig into. And that was back when you still had to open the can with removable pull-top tabs, which made handy-dandy necklaces, bracelets, and weapons! It hasta be Shasta!
Honorable Mention: Canada Dry also offered up flavored sodas, many of which were very delicious. The 70s was also the era of fat bottles enveloped in styrofoam labels, to help prevent breakage.
Hi-C – First introduced in 1947 in only one flavor (orange – grape came along later), the popular fruit flavored drink continued to be made available in its distinctive 46 ounce steel can well into the 1980s. Fans loved the can, which had to be punctured with holes on the lid by a can opener in order to pour the contents, for several reasons, not the least of which was the fact that the can chilled the juice considerably. Other reasons included the nostalgia factor, as the can hearkens back to our childhoods, and the labels, which for many years could be removed so that puzzles and games printed on the back of the label could be enjoyed. For me, the best flavor was Citrus Cooler, a neon green colored liquid that tasted like tangerine. I still recall getting served the juice with my graham crackers before rest time on our floor mats in pre-school. The teacher referred to it as “spider cider.” And so did I, for the next forty years. In 1987, the Minute Maid division of Coca-Cola, who had acquired the brand, changed the name from Citrus Cooler to “Ecto Cooler” as a merchandising tie-in with the film “Ghostbusters,” but make no mistake – it was still the spider cider I knew and loved. As the years went by, the steel cans disappeared, to be replaced by cardboard juice boxes with straws, and Minute Maid remove the artificial colors from their juice line. The beverage went through a name change (Shoutin’ Orange Tangerine), and was brought back temporarily in 2021 to promote “Ghostbusters: Afterlife.” Citrus Cooler, in particular, is beloved by fans who clamor on the internet for its return, and offer homemade recipes.
Pillsbury Space Food Sticks – These “nutritionally balanced between-meal” snacks were introduced in 1970, but never actually made it into space until 1972, when astronauts on Skylab 3 ate them in order to test their gastronomical fortitude. That did not prevent kids enamored with the Apollo missions and the space race from demanding that Mom buy them. Each box contained 14 individually wrapped sticks that came in six different flavors, but in actuality, they tasted like Play-Doh.
Snack Mate Pasteurized Process Cheese Spread – Only in America would someone come up with the brilliant idea to put cheese in a spray can. Nabisco first created the product in 1965, and by the 1970s, consumers could use the air-filled canisters to squirt processed cheese just about anywhere they wanted, and in flavors such as Cheddar, American, Pimiento, Cheddar-Blu, Pizza, and French Onion. For stoned teenagers, this stuff was great – it tasted fake, but when piled high on a Ritz cracker or on your favorite body part of your girl friend, it was heavenly delicious! And it was so cheezy to use!
Libbyland Frozen Meals – Frozen TV dinners especially for kids. Ingenious! Each of the four varieties included a box with games and puzzles that had a cut-out scene which could be popped-up to look at while you ate. And what a meal, too! Nasty little hot dogs, fish sticks, chicken patties, and tater tots, with grape flavored apple sauce or hot pudding for dessert. And it came with powder to make a glass of chocolate milk to help swallow the swill down. C’mon, everybody sing along! “If it says Libby’s, Libby’s, Libby’s on the label, label, label, you will like it, like it, like it on your table, table, table!”
Pop Rocks and Zotz – You know what would be a great ingredient for a candy? How about the same stuff that you can brush your teeth with, use to absorb foul orders in your fridge, make one of those little plastic submarines they gave away in boxes of breakfast cereal go up and down in the bath water, or cause your science project papier-mâché volcano to erupt? That’s right! Sodium bicarbonate, commonly known as baking soda! Well, that was what was inside a Zotz hard candy, first sold in 1970. You sucked on it until saliva and air reached the center, which was filled with baking soda, and then the candy exploded in your mouth, bathing it with a sizzling foam that made you look like you had gone mad with rabies. But only a penny or two for the excitement and fun!
Pop Rocks, a candy that crackled and fizzed when you poured a bunch from the pouch into your mouth, on the other hand, used pressurized carbon dioxide gas bubbles embedded in the candy to do the dirty work. Pop Rocks came out in 1975, and found fame after Johnny Carson tried some on “The Tonight Show,” and giggled when the candy began popping in his mouth as it disolved. By 1979, General Mills found itself battling rumors that drinking soda and digesting Pop Rocks would cause a person’s stomach to boil and explode, an urban legend that included child actor John Gilchrist who played Mikey on the Life cereal commercials in the 1970s. “Hey, Mikey! I hate your guts … being all over the table!”
Funny Face Drink Mix – In 1969, the FDA ruled that since cyclamate, a sweetener in both Kool-Aid and Funny Face drink mixes, could develop bladder tumors in rats if they ingested the human equivalent of 350 cans of soda pop a day, the additive had to be removed from all products for human consumption. When it was banned, Bugs Bunny disappeared as the spokesman for Kool-Aid, but Funny Face marched on with its stable of goofy and humorous mascots used to promote its large assortment of fruity flavors. Beloved today by boomers who enjoyed drinking pitchers of this cheap soft drink first introduced by Pillsbury in 1964, Funny Face stuck around until 2001, giving Kool-Aid some fairly strong competition. The original flavors, and their names, were Goofy Grape, Rootin’-Tootin’ Raspberry, Freckle Face Strawberry, Loud-Mouth Lime, Injun Orange, and Chinese Cherry. These last two, being ethnic stereotypes considered offensive at the time (right down to the slang term “Injun” and the slanted eyes, buck teeth, and single strand of hair with a bow), were soon changed to Jolly Olly Orange and Choo Choo Cherry, respectively. Additional flavors were added later, including Lefty Lemon (later called Lefty Lemon-Lime and Lefty Lemonade), Captain Black Cherry, Chilly Cherry Cola, Loud-Mouth Punch, Pistol Pink Lemonade, Rah! Rah! Root Beer, Rudy Tutti-Frutti, Tart Lil’ Imitation Lemonade, Tart ‘N’ Tangy Lemon, Tart n’ Tangy Orange, With-It Watermelon, and Chug-A-Lug-a Chocolate. Unlike Kool-Aid, Funny Face flooded the market in the 1970s with lots of premiums and collectables, most of which are highly coveted and sought after today.
Customers no did wantum “Injun Orange,” nor did they rike “Chinese Cherry” velly much, either.
Frito’s Offensive Spokesperson – I was never a fan of corn chips, but I am a fan of the ignorant racism that abounded throughout the politically incorrect seventies, and here was a great example: the Frito Bandito. “Aye yi yi yi! I am the Frito Bandito! I love crunchy Fritos, I love them I do, I take crunchy Fritos, I take them from you!” he would snarlingly sing in his best Bill Dana/Speedy Gonzalez inflection. After mild consumer outrage, he was replaced by W.C. Fritos, a character based on an alcoholic, child-hating, chauvinistic actor from the ’30s, because, hey, that’s at least somewhat better than an insulting Mexican stereotype, right? The collectable erasers were cool, though. I fortunately still have mine.
Borden Dutch Chocolate Milk / Frosted Shake – This one is personal. My love affair with chocolate milk may have started with Hershey’s syrup or Nestle’s powder and a gallon of milk, as we kids made our own glasses of God’s nectar growing up, but by the time I had discovered drugs and had spending money, Borden’s Dutch Chocolate Milk was the favorite go-to. Daily. I would literally pull over dairy trucks or stop by the Borden warehouse in downtown Tucson on my way to early morning college classes, and buy cartons directly. This concoction had no competition – it was quite simply the best chocolate milk I have ever tasted, and I have tried dozens of brands throughout the years, even after I became lactose intolerant and was forced to drink lactose-free brands. Other brands added unnecessary ingredients and oils that gave the flavor something that felt just a little off, such as a coconut aftertaste or the absence of, well, chocolate. But Borden’s used Dutch chocolate, and I guess that made all the difference. Although the brand is still sold on the East coast, sadly it is no longer available on the West coast, and like so many other groovy things from my childhood, it is now just a distance memory.
The same is true with Borden’s Frosted Shake, a ready to drink milkshake in a can. Much more expensive than a quart of chocolate milk, and only large enough for a couple of swigs before it was gone, this fairly decent product was a nice change of pace. Available in Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry, Chocolate Fudge and Coffee, I could never figure out how they made the texture so thick and rich, just like a creamy milkshake. Then one day I looked at the ingredients and saw that it was made almost entirely of vegetable oil. I suddenly felt queasy.
Birdseye Ice Flo Slush Mix – This has been the Holy Grail of my childhood, as there is pretty much nothing out there on the worldwide web documenting the history of this amazing product, a slush drink mix that came in five flavors, each in a brightly colored square Cool Whip-type container, suitable for storage and playtime when emptied. I have reached out to the Birdseye and General Foods marketing and product divisions in each of the last three decades asking about Ice Flo to no avail – they simply do not remember it. It took me scouring through newspaper archives and microfiche to uncover proof that it did actually exist – see the advertisements below. (I actually sent away for the plastic cups adorned by the fairly nondescript mascots, where they remained in our camping trailer for years. The cups, not the mascots.) I cannot believe that at some point in the last 45 years some company somewhere has not thought to bring this clever drink mix product back to the grocer’s freezer. It was absolutely delicious! And it even came in chocolate, which you mixed with milk instead of water. And, boy, do I miss those fabulous, far out purple, red, yellow, orange, and brown tubs with matching lids. What I wouldn’t give for the ability to make my own slush right now!!
Frosty Sno-Man Sno-Cones – First manufactured in 1967, Hasbro’s Frosty Sno-Man Sno-Cone Machine enabled children to make their own snow cones by inserting ice cubes in Frosty’s head, using his hat to shove them through the grinder that rotated in Frosty’s stomach when you turned the crank located on his back. The shaved ice came out of his stomach, like disemboweled crystal intestines, with the help of Frosty’s trusty shovel. The toy came with packets of snow cone syrup, in orange, grape, pineapple, blueberry, and pink lemonade, and bottles to dispense the syrups. In the 1970s, kits came with a paper apron, paper sign, and plastic hat to encourage kids to go out into the world and open their own business. And that is what we did! We set up a stand, and used Welch’s Grape Juice as syrup when we ran out of the packets. The drawback was how long it took to fill a paper cup with shaved ice – you found yourself still loading ice cubes and grinding away while the ice you already had was melting. Either way, a snow cone on a hot day couldn’t be topped!
Snack Crackers – Really not much to say here, except that back in the day of artificial ingredients, lack of weight conscious awareness, and the love of all things bacon and cheese flavored, there was certainly a wider assortment of snack crackers available than there is now.
GO GO GADGETS AND DEADLY PLAYGROUNDS!
Hanging out on the schoolyard during lunch and recess in the early 1970s meant checking out new gadgets and cool stuff that other kids were privileged to obtain, but I was not, such as 8×10 color glossies of the famous Earthrise photo taken by the Apollo 8 space crew, which somehow a kid in my fifth grade class had a bunch of and sold them for a dollar each (I did end up buying one).
There were other gadgets and cool stuff that we DID get to own and show off, such as “Clackers,” one of the most dangerous toys ever sold to children. Clackers were two clear plastic balls suspended at each end of a string. When the string was held in the middle and the balls swung so that they hit each other in the air above your hand and again below your hand, the “clacking” balls would eventually explode, sending shards of sharp colorful plastic into the eyes, heads, and bodies of every student standing nearby watching. Fun!
But we did not need to rely on dangerous toys being brought to school to cause injuries that would result in a trip to the nurse’s office and a ride home in bandages. Not when the nearby playground equipment was just as deadly. The majority of structures to climb and play on were made of steel, which is a drawback when the Arizona temperatures reach well over 100 degrees, and the steel becomes scalding hot, delivering third degree burns en masse, but an asset when it comes to hosing off blood and melted skin to ready the playground for the next day’s recess. There were merry-go-rounds, teeter totters, monkey bars, and jungle gyms, all firmly set in soft, cushiony cement, and designed to allow children with low agility and immature balancing skills to climb high, swing far, hang upside down from great heights, and ultimately slip, fall, and collide with the ground and other children. It was our first introduction to scabs, bruises, teeth that did not fall out naturally, slings, and casts, and these unsound, unsafe playground apparatuses helped weed the herd of the weak and feeble, not like the wimpy, plastic structures of today, with their pussy-ass stairs, guardrails, and wood chips. And I didn’t even mention the tetherball court, an amazing oddity that enabled you to slam a ball, attached to a rope or chain and tied to the top of a pole, right into the face of the girl you had a crush on, or wrap it indefinitely around the wrist of the kid you hated, cutting off the blood supply to his hand. Those were the days.
Some of us found our way to the local POW / MIA office, and purchased bracelets with the names of Vietnam soldiers who were prisoners of war or who were missing in action. We were too young at the time to really comprehend and appreciate the significance of these trinkets, but we wore them nonetheless as a sort of fifth grade status symbol.
Stickers and decals were a big deal with grade-schoolers in the 1970s. You could get them free from almost anywhere: gas stations and repair shops handed out STP and Wynne’s racing stickers, liquor stores gave us Budweiser “Budman” decals. Donruss’ “Odd Rods” bubble gum stickers were a short-lived fad. Much more popular, and still around today, were the “Wacky Packages” product spoof cards from Topps. Lockers, notebooks, and bedroom closets were covered with these stickers, many of which were paper and a mother’s nightmare when it came to trying to remove them.
Funny magazines and comic books were popular things to share, especially as our sense of humor began to become more sophisticated, and satire and adult content and parodies more appreciated. We graduated from comic books to Mad magazine (and its copy cats), and then to National Lampoon (and its full frontal nudity and F-words), and were on our way to grown up laughter, jocularity, and general all-around merriment. We were the generation that motioned in the era that led to “All in the Family,” “Second City Television,” “Saturday Night Live,” and “Animal House.”
Electronic gadgets were increasingly popular in the 1970s, and as kids, we were immediately attracted to them, including the wave of Texas Instruments digital products that took the world by storm, with their deep red numbers and letters lit up and blinking across the faces of hand-held calculators and wrist watches. Every child had to have one or both. So did Dad.
The space race was in full steam in the 1960s, culminating on the first man on the moon in 1969, but although space flight was dwindling down in the seventies (the last moon mission, Apollo 17, occurred in December, 1972), kids still fancied space related toys, such as Major Matt Mason, who had a LOT of cool gadgets. Those of us lucky enough to buy and collect Major Matt Masons enjoyed a variety of neat accessories, such as moonwalkers, lunar vehicles, jetpacks, alien friends, and a complete and radical space station set. About the same time as all the wires inside Matt broke, reducing his limbs to rubbery, floppy appendages, we grew tired of him, and moved on to other action toys, like G.I. Joe and Hot Wheels, and eventually preoccupation with girls, acne, and night boners.
New gadgets were not just being discovered on the playground among our peers. They were showing up at home, too. Before Ma Bell was broken up in 1982, Bell Telephone owned our phones. But that did not stop them from introducing new and exciting models. We still had party lines and operators, and you could still make prank calls, like having your own phone called by the operator to fool your parents, and you could still charge long distance phone calls to the phone number belonging to the parents of some kid at school who you disliked, but now the phones were slick and cool looking, with push buttons and light-up dials and available in many wildly alluring colors. Although novelty phones would not become a thing until the 1980s, the 1970s did introduce some, such as Snoopy and Mickey Mouse telephones.
Record players and hi-fi phonographs reached a renaissance, as audiophiles began to invest a lot of money into state-of-the-art turntables and music systems. Many of these were sturdy, high-end components that have stood the test of time and are still being sought after and used fifty years later. I myself am using the receiver I purchased in 1975, a Harman/Kardon 430 Twin Powered stereo receiver that works and sounds brilliant.
But it was the 1970s, after all, and spilling over from the decadent and psychedelic sixties were some pretty far out and extremely hip sound equipment, including groovy dome-covered turntables and the amazing Audio Egg.
And although video game consoles would begin to trickle into arcades and our homes toward the end of the decade, the trend all started with a simple, quaint little game called “Pong.” I first saw “Pong” on a display TV set in the Diamonds department store, and my friends and I would wander into Diamonds after school, and play the game until the sales staff would come along and shoe us away. Eventually, we convinced our parents to buy a “Pong” console, and soon every living room had a TV set in which the game had burned itself into the picture tube, forcing us to view a ghostly game of tennis or ping pong behind any television show we tried to watch.
The 1970s also brought technology into retail, especially in our grocery stores. As I mentioned previously, scanners were introduced in 1974, and UPC bar codes began appearing on everything. I love the following photo, because I worked at an Alpha Beta grocery store in the early 1980s and checked out groceries on a checkstand exactly like this one. Look! No plastic bags! And is that lady writing a check? For cash back, too? You betcha!
Come back soon for more reflections on the greatest era to ever be sandwiched between the decades 1960 and 1980.
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